A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
BRING THE BAGELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize