shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
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his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
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Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.