doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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