there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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