please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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