This is not my ceiling
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
