you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
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P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
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I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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