in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
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Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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