I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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