well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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