I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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