i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
