i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize