even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him