I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee