You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it