He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.