I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?