i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.