Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were