it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
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Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
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My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?