Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.