so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”