I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
sarcasm needs its own font
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Is Oprah even human
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.