bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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