I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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