My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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