got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
