so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
