with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
where am i from again
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize