My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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