Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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