If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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