Sry I called you an 8
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
