I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
