No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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