She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
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Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
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For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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