Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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