Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
zippers are such a cool invention
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
