I wanna bring you to show and tell
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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