i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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