Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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