My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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