she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I have poison ivy on my dick
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this