brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?