just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say