can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
