No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
