Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.