32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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