You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Terrible idea I love it
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize