someone get that fucking seahorse.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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