you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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