im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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