And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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