he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!