i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
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Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
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Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.