I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.