On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
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Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
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I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.