i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
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Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
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he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids