I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It's just like the Real World with babies
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.