Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.