I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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