i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
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You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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